The Female Hot-Crazy Matrix…Simple…Brilliance

The Female Hot-Crazy Matrix…

Genius..in our time

Next to Newton and Einstein…this is probably the most brilliant research and explanation of all mankind

The facts are simply irrefutable!

Nothing epitomizes the experiences of being a reg red-blooded American male…trying to figure out and experiencing the opposite sex more than this

He did fall short…the next step…there has to be some encompassing equation…like E= mc^2 …to make sense of it all

I try to comprehend the totality and all-encompassing nature of it all…wrap my arms around it…absorb it into my brain…and achieve some Matrix/Neo-like nirvana understanding of it all…but as spot on as it is…

It is simply too much for one man to fathom

Behold!

I weep…at the brilliance of his genius

The Dating/Relationship Triangle

Not a crazy threesome/sex/love triangle.

This one is way simpler…men/women, mars/venus…the basics.

There are lots of considerations, pros/cons, cost benefits, return on investment, what your family thinks, what your friends think, that voice inside your head, maternal clocks, physical attraction,intelligence, humor, wealth, health, etc.

But it really boils down to a simple diagram…three considerations…a triangle:

TriangleEveryone wants the complete package.

But in real life…you really only find someone with two…if you are lucky

LOL

Booking.com…and ‘dancing’

Sooooo…Booking.com…

Oysters…I get that….I love seafood

Riding horseback on a sandy beach….not my thing…but a common fantasy in our culture…I get it

Totally get the wine part…I’m particular to mellow reds

But…the end there…I hesitate to call it ‘dancing’….what…wtf is that?

Maybe she was going for the African Anteater Ritual

‘What a spaz!’

Or maybe she’s in special ed

Fail Booking.com…fail

 

Cinematic crap – ‘Tammy’

Had insomnia…saw this preview on tv…

A Melissa McCarthy movie

Coming soon…to a theater near you

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

straight face…*crickets*

Cinematic crap

Won’t be seeing it

Not funny…not even close….never has been… never will be

The glorification of obesity…awesome

‘Cuz America doesn’t have a health problem as it is

Obese (the PC and polite term) or fat (the realisitic and ‘rude’) term humor …just isn’t funny

I coulda sworn we figured all this out years ago with Rosanne

Ralphie May and Gabriel Iglesias are the only guys that can make it work (they’re crazy funny)

Don’t get me wrong…you don’t hafta be rail thin or a gym rat to be legit

But this schtick is just plain not funny

smh

Hollywood…you can do better than this

That Time of Year Again…the WNBA

Annnnnnnd…it’s that time of year again…

March madness is over, the NBA and NHL playoffs are winding down…still months until the NFL and college football start…and baseball is pretty much irrelevant until fall.

…and ESPN begins their annual campaign to get us to watch the nauseating crap known as:

The WNBA

‘Playoffs’…for the ‘championship’

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

Four quarters of squealing, squawking, out of control, endles dribbling, turnover-laden, missed layups, botched dunks, clanking shots off the backboard, numerous airballs, horrific, godawful, unwatchable ‘basketball’.

How this ‘league’ makes a profit and is even still in business I have no idea…Well…actually I do…it’s called being subsidized by the NBA.

The NBA.You know…the product that people actually care about and watch, fills seats, sells tickets and jerseys, attracts sponsors, has viewers, and generates revenue. The one with the global attraction.

But ESPN keeps trying to jam it down everyone’s throats.

Psssst…ESPN…noone wants to watch this crap…the lousy tv ratings and near empty stands should be a clue

You can f**king have ‘next’

Grant Hill vs Lilly Adams

You know you just wanna see Grant Hill  smack one of her shots into row 25 so hard it leaves an imprint in the seats, juke her so hard she breaks both ankles, or take off from the free throw line and dunk the f**k all over Lilly Adams….

…and then mean mug like KG or LeBron for the cameras after

‘Oh…good for you’

And Mrs Hill…you just know she’s thinking: ‘ Aw helllllll no! Hold up! Back up b*tch! Don’t you disrespect my man! I will go real basketball wife on your ass!’

Still luv ya AT&T!

Pay-per-view  ‘Grant vs Lilly’…calling Vegas…Lilly is cute…but my money is on Grant

…Kobe would tap that tho