Well…it’s the holiday season…and it’s a total pain in the ass…I hate shopping…and I hate people that pretend they’re joyful and love family when all they really want to get do is get presents. My bet is the majority of people probably can’t tell you the real meaning of Christmas.
If I really can’t stand you…but have to get you a present….
…you’ll probably get this
Nothing subtly says ‘I hate you’ like a Wallet Ninja
Maybe one of these…
Move over Chia Pets…these are soooooo much more insulting!
Seeing the look of disdain as someone removes the gift wrapping and realizes what it is brings a smile to me face!
Next to Newton and Einstein…this is probably the most brilliant research and explanation of all mankind
The facts are simply irrefutable!
Nothing epitomizes the experiences of being a reg red-blooded American male…trying to figure out and experiencing the opposite sex more than this
He did fall short…the next step…there has to be some encompassing equation…like E= mc^2 …to make sense of it all
I try to comprehend the totality and all-encompassing nature of it all…wrap my arms around it…absorb it into my brain…and achieve some Matrix/Neo-like nirvana understanding of it all…but as spot on as it is…
This one is way simpler…men/women, mars/venus…the basics.
There are lots of considerations, pros/cons, cost benefits, return on investment, what your family thinks, what your friends think, that voice inside your head, maternal clocks, physical attraction,intelligence, humor, wealth, health, etc.
But it really boils down to a simple diagram…three considerations…a triangle:
Everyone wants the complete package.
But in real life…you really only find someone with two…ifyou are lucky
March madness is over, the NBA and NHL playoffs are winding down…still months until the NFL and college football start…and baseball is pretty much irrelevant until fall.
…and ESPN begins their annual campaign to get us to watch the nauseating crap known as:
‘Playoffs’…for the ‘championship’
Four quarters of squealing, squawking, out of control, endles dribbling, turnover-laden, missed layups, botched dunks, clanking shots off the backboard, numerous airballs, horrific, godawful, unwatchable ‘basketball’.
How this ‘league’ makes a profit and is even still in business I have no idea…Well…actually I do…it’s called being subsidized by the NBA.
The NBA.You know…the product that people actually care about and watch, fills seats, sells tickets and jerseys, attracts sponsors, has viewers, and generates revenue. The one with the global attraction.
But ESPN keeps trying to jam it down everyone’s throats.
Psssst…ESPN…noone wants to watch this crap…the lousy tv ratings and near empty stands should be a clue