I wish I could claim this as my original…it’s not….but I’d do it!
Pay close attention to the driver’s side window…a truly creative and brilliant added effect!
Only gonna say it once …don’t park in my spot man
Millennials…this is the kind of stupid shit that makes people hate you
Selfies aren’t cute, ‘boo’ isn’t cute, ‘bestie’ isn’t cute, ‘bae’ isn’t cute, flat brimmed ballcaps aren’t cool, stupid-assed gauge earrings are disguting
Keep doing dumb shit like this…be yourself…..do what you want….speak your mind…’express yourself’…but the world doesn’t want to hear you bitch when your dumbass is broke and can’t get a job
Well…it’s the holiday season…and it’s a total pain in the ass…I hate shopping…and I hate people that pretend they’re joyful and love family when all they really want to get do is get presents. My bet is the majority of people probably can’t tell you the real meaning of Christmas.
If I really can’t stand you…but have to get you a present….
…you’ll probably get this
Nothing subtly says ‘I hate you’ like a Wallet Ninja
Maybe one of these…
Move over Chia Pets…these are soooooo much more insulting!
Seeing the look of disdain as someone removes the gift wrapping and realizes what it is brings a smile to me face!
The Female Hot-Crazy Matrix…
Genius..in our time
Next to Newton and Einstein…this is probably the most brilliant research and explanation of all mankind
The facts are simply irrefutable!
Nothing epitomizes the experiences of being a reg red-blooded American male…trying to figure out and experiencing the opposite sex more than this
He did fall short…the next step…there has to be some encompassing equation…like E= mc^2 …to make sense of it all
I try to comprehend the totality and all-encompassing nature of it all…wrap my arms around it…absorb it into my brain…and achieve some Matrix/Neo-like nirvana understanding of it all…but as spot on as it is…
It is simply too much for one man to fathom
I weep…at the brilliance of his genius
Not a crazy threesome/sex/love triangle.
This one is way simpler…men/women, mars/venus…the basics.
There are lots of considerations, pros/cons, cost benefits, return on investment, what your family thinks, what your friends think, that voice inside your head, maternal clocks, physical attraction,intelligence, humor, wealth, health, etc.
But it really boils down to a simple diagram…three considerations…a triangle:
But in real life…you really only find someone with two…if you are lucky
Oysters…I get that….I love seafood
Riding horseback on a sandy beach….not my thing…but a common fantasy in our culture…I get it
Totally get the wine part…I’m particular to mellow reds
But…the end there…I hesitate to call it ‘dancing’….what…wtf is that?
Maybe she was going for the African Anteater Ritual
‘What a spaz!’
Or maybe she’s in special ed
Annnnnd…the most disgusting commercial I’ve seen in about…say…EVER is:
‘Awkward’ is an understatement
Just watching makes me scratch my skin, flush my eyes, and want a bath…well…several of them
Nasty Hotels.com…just plain nasty
Had insomnia…saw this preview on tv…
A Melissa McCarthy movie
Coming soon…to a theater near you
Won’t be seeing it
Not funny…not even close….never has been… never will be
The glorification of obesity…awesome
‘Cuz America doesn’t have a health problem as it is
Obese (the PC and polite term) or fat (the realisitic and ‘rude’) term humor …just isn’t funny
I coulda sworn we figured all this out years ago with Rosanne
Ralphie May and Gabriel Iglesias are the only guys that can make it work (they’re crazy funny)
Don’t get me wrong…you don’t hafta be rail thin or a gym rat to be legit
But this schtick is just plain not funny
Hollywood…you can do better than this
Sooooo awkward and disturbing that I’m pretty much speechless…
This commercial does not work….on any level
‘I luv the smell of your Brut’…said no woman ever
Throw in some instant pregnancy….weird
Add pregnant animals…
Annnnnnnd…it’s that time of year again…
March madness is over, the NBA and NHL playoffs are winding down…still months until the NFL and college football start…and baseball is pretty much irrelevant until fall.
…and ESPN begins their annual campaign to get us to watch the nauseating crap known as:
‘Playoffs’…for the ‘championship’
Four quarters of squealing, squawking, out of control, endles dribbling, turnover-laden, missed layups, botched dunks, clanking shots off the backboard, numerous airballs, horrific, godawful, unwatchable ‘basketball’.
How this ‘league’ makes a profit and is even still in business I have no idea…Well…actually I do…it’s called being subsidized by the NBA.
The NBA.You know…the product that people actually care about and watch, fills seats, sells tickets and jerseys, attracts sponsors, has viewers, and generates revenue. The one with the global attraction.
But ESPN keeps trying to jam it down everyone’s throats.
Psssst…ESPN…noone wants to watch this crap…the lousy tv ratings and near empty stands should be a clue
You can f**king have ‘next’